How to prepare yourself for 'social bubbles'

Earlier this week, Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced that lockdown restrictions might soon be lifted further – so that we can finally see our family and friends again.

From 1 June, we will be able to meet up in so-called ‘social bubbles’ from different households, a decision that comes after the UK has passed the five tests set out by the government to prevent a second peak of coronavirus.

Over the past 10 weeks, we have all adjusted to a new normal – but we now face new challenges as socialising with others once again becomes part of our lives.

It’s only natural for it to feel a little weird and there are still rules in place that we need to be aware of.

So, we run through how you can prepare yourself for the introduction of these social bubbles and all that follows – from feeling left out by not getting any invites to hang out, to logistical planning.

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What are the rules?

Let’s start with the basics – what can and can’t you do?

At the time of writing, social bubbles cannot extend to more than six people – including you, meaning you can only see five people at the same time.

You also have to remain outdoors for the entirety of the visit.

Brits will also be allowed to have BBQs, so long as they follow social distancing rules, and are ‘scrupulous’ about about washing hands and maintaining good hygiene.

And you must, at all times, stay two metres away from anyone from a different household.

Choose a good location

As social bubbles are introduced, it’s very likely that groups will flock to green areas, popular beaches and other beauty spots across the UK.

To avoid the crowds, make a plan in advance and choose a good location where you won’t suddenly find yourself in a huddle of a few hundred people (and find it hard to keep the appropriate distance from them).

What’s more, if you’re planning a BBQ in a public place, make sure it’s allowed or you could end up being fined.

If you’re sat in someone else’s garden, don’t touch anything inside the house including door handles and if you must use the toilet, wipe everything before and after use, and wash your hands.

And don’t share any items (such as passing a ketchup or wine bottle back and forth, for instance). As a general rule, bring your own food and drinks.

If you’re travelling to meet your loved ones, take care on public transport (always worth carrying a bottle of hand sanitiser with you) and if you can, avoid it altogether – cycle, walk or drive instead to minimise the risk of spreading the virus.

Prepare yourself for it to feel a little weird

While most of us are excited to see our loves ones again, there’s still a pandemic going on – so it’s natural if the vibe is a bit off.

And don’t be surprised if the meet-and-greet is anti-climatic; many people will have built it up in their minds, and it’s very possible that you get disappointed with the actual experience.

After all, you still can’t hug or really hang out in a normal way – but try to make the best of a strange situation, and don’t force it to be a jolly time if you’re not feeling it.

Just be in each other’s company and let that be enough for now.

FOMO may return

Not being chosen for someone’s social bubble is a bit like when you were a kid and didn’t get chosen for a team – being left out, especially during a pandemic, can be incredibly painful.

There are also people who live far away and can’t meet up with anyone or who are suffering from underlying health issues and have been instructed to stay at home.

Prepare yourself, as FOMO (fear of missing out) may well kick in as social media feeds fill up with quarantini-hours and social distancing outdoor dinners.

So, how can you cope with this?

Firstly, put the phone away – you’ll only feel worse by continously scrolling through everyone else’s fun.

‘Not being included in a social bubble is an incredibly hard thing to deal with, particularly if your mood has already been low as a result of the impact of lockdown,’ Dr Becky Spelman, psychologist and clinical director of Private Therapy Clinic, tells us.

‘Therefore, you’ll probably notice that you’re gonna have more negative automatic thoughts, which is very much a glass-half empty type of thinking, such as “do these people not like me anymore, have they had enough of me, have I done something wrong” – negative assumptions where we don’t have any actual facts to back these thoughts up with.

‘You want to make sure that you are challenging these thoughts and looking at the bigger picture, like by saying to yourself “will this really matter in a year’s time, a month’s time etc.”, “what advice would I give to a friend who is in this time situation” or “what is another way to look at this”.

‘It’s quite normal to feel strong negative emotions when this type of situation happens, so you’re likely to feel distressed, upset and disappointed, but try to take control of the situation by remembering that you’ve got your own social bubble as well.

‘You can invite whoever you want into your life. You might even find that the assumptions you’ve made about not being invited to certain places may not really be that accurate, and you might find out information in the future that explains why you were left out or why it was important for certain people to meet.

‘Why we might not always necessarily receive this information, it’s good to make sure that you don’t get caught up in the negative thinking.

‘Focusing on what you can do rather than what you are being left out of is a great way of handling this. Making sure that you’ve got a balanced lifestyle, have stuff to look forward to and that you’re planning well in advance means you can take control of your social life, rather than relying too much on other people.’

It’s OK if you don’t want to meet up

Even though restrictions are lifted, some people might not feel ready to meet up yet.

Whether someone is isolating due to underlying health issues or is just scared to contract coronavirus and choosing to stay indoors, respect their decision.

And if you are that person, explain your reasoning to your friend – this way, you can avoid any hurt feelings on either side.

Top tips on what to say if you're not ready to meet up in lockdown

Carole Ann Rice, a life coach, provides four examples of what you can say in this type of situation:

• Explain your reasoning – whether it be anxiety over contracting the virus yourself (‘I’m frightened of catching the virus’) or putting vulnerable people at risk ‘I have vulnerable members of my family to think about’.

• Ask them for patience – ‘I’m not ready yet – let me get there in my own time’.

• Reassure them – ‘I wish you well and I’m eager to see you but I’m just not ready to go out yet. It’s not personal’.

• Give them options / alternatives – ‘let’s do a phone call, a family / friend quiz or meet up on zoom for a glass of wine’.

If the idea of social bubbles doesn’t bring you much comfort, that’s also OK.

You don’t need to plaster on a smile if you’re feeling low, just because you can now BBQ or have drinks with a select few people.

The restrictions loosening doesn’t mean that we – or our loved ones – automatically feel better about the state of the world.

Be kind and patient, it’s a tough time.

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