Alice Cooper Considers What His Biopic Would Be Like
by Martin KieltyAlice Cooper discussed the possibility of a biopic about his career, saying the fact that he didn’t achieve the same commercial success of other recent movie subjects made his story stronger.
The veteran also suggested that Hollywood Vampires bandmate Johnny Depp could play him if the project ever went ahead, though he’d need some heavy makeup.
“I hope it’s not one of those where we get to die first,” Cooper told Yahoo! in a new interview. “Usually it’s gonna happen with bands that were extremely commercially successful. … We sold a lot of records, but I did not appeal to everybody. I was definitely on the darker side. And I think that it would make a great movie.”
He added that "if Johnny Depp were just better looking, he could play me! ... Johnny would be the best guy to play me, because he really likes to take those characters that nobody else wants to play. And he loves prosthetics — he would get my nose in there and the whole thing like that. He knows me well enough now where he could imitate me pretty well, I’m pretty sure.”
In a separate interview, Cooper credited his longevity to being “born in the right era.” “I came in during that golden age when everything depended on how good your quality was," he told Billboard. "I was competing with [David] Bowie and Elton [John] and the Beatles and Led Zeppelin, and that competition makes you sharp, and you never give that up. We were required to write great songs. And those songs still get played every night on the radio, all over the world.”
He noted that longtime producer Bob Ezrin “would never, ever let us put filler on an album. ... He says, ‘Every song has got to be a gem. You don’t just throw something in there and say, ‘Okay, there’s a song.’ To this day, we don’t let anything on an album that’s not high quality, and that has really paid off in the long run.”
Alice Cooper Albums Ranked
Alice Cooper Albums Ranked Worst to Best
We rank all 26 of Alice Cooper's band and solo studio albums from the worst to the best.
26. ‘Raise Your Fist and Yell’ (1987)
This album isn’t at the bottom of the barrel because of its laughably awful cover artwork (although that doesn’t help). Cooper, aided and abetted by guitarist Kane Roberts and bassist Kip Winger, created the kind of music you’d hear blaring away on the high school bully’s boombox in a schlocky ’80s movie. With its brain-itching solos and relentlessly chintzy production, ‘Raise Your Fist and Yell’ is definitely from the wrong side of the tracks. Cooper goes from character to caricature – one who bellows “I’m gonna step on you!” or screams “This ain’t Russia!”
25. ‘Zipper Catches Skin’ (1982)
Cooper has called his early ’80s LPs his “blackout” period. His substance abuse problems became so severe that he has no memory of making these albums. One listen to the New Wave ‘Zipper Catches Skin’ and you might wish you had no memory of hearing it. It sounds exactly like the scattered ramblings of a coke addict, with tunes about Ebenezer Scrooge and Zorro, lyrics about television brands and a song dedicated to E.T. The Spielberg-inspired "No Baloney Homosapiens" is so bizarre, it’s almost enjoyable. Almost.
24. ‘Constrictor’ (1986)
After years of drug abuse and experimental albums, Cooper took some time off to get clean in the mid-’80s. He returned a few years later, with his makeup bag and a metal edge. While it’s great to hear him employ his full-throated yell on "Teenage Frankenstein," so much of ‘Constrictor’ constrains its star to the thin sonic limitations of poorly processed pop metal. The exception is the album-closing "He’s Back (The Man Behind the Mask)" – crafted for ‘Friday the 13th Part VI.’ It’s a synth-fest that sounds like “Weird Al” Yankovic fronting the Thompson Twins. How did Cooper become unrecognizable just when he put the famous makeup back on?
23. ‘Hey Stoopid’ (1991)
Two years after ‘Trash’ and "Poison" returned Cooper to the mainstream, ‘Hey Stoopid’ tried to keep him there. It sort of worked. One of the album’s better songs, "Feed My Frankenstein," appeared in the blockbuster ‘Wayne’s World’ (though Cooper’s backstage cameo is what became a pop culture touchstone). A legion of guest stars – Slash, Ozzy Osbourne, Steve Vai, Joe Satriani, Nikki Sixx, Mick Mars – couldn’t rescue the record, which became an amorphous blob of overproduced rock noise. ‘Stoopid,’ but not contagious.
22. ‘Special Forces’ (1981)
Another one of Cooper’s “blackout” albums, ‘Special Forces’ fares better than ‘Zipper Catches Skin’ because the singer’s frantic energy plays into the record’s sonic identity. It’s a lot of sharp edges and martial beats, through which Cooper growls vaguely militaristic commands. But robotic backing vocals and gauzy keyboards make songs like "You’re a Movie" or "Skeletons in the Closet" sound like parodies of the New Wave era, rather than poorly forged dispatches from it. Besides, you know you’re in trouble if you’re including a “live” version of a song from the Alice Cooper band’s heyday to round out the track list.
21. ‘Easy Action’ (1970)
Alice Cooper’s second LP displays hints of the greatness this band would achieve in just one more album’s time. There are nods to Broadway (both the title and portions of "Still No Air" are lifted from ‘West Side Story’), expressive vocal turns by Cooper (he shreds his throat on "Return of the Spiders") and some lurching rock ("Mr. & Misdemeanor" is a solid opener). But the roughed-up crunch that would serve the group so well in subsequent years is held at bay by ‘Easy Action’’s anemic sound – which band members blamed on producer David Briggs. But it’s not like they had great songs yet either.
20. ‘Lace and Whiskey’ (1977)
For his third solo outing, Cooper ditched the guillotines and ghouls for a fedora and a revolver. That’s right, the Alice alter ego took on its own alter ego: gumshoe Maurice Escargot. In addition, the idea behind ‘Lace and Whiskey’ was to combine ’70s rock with the pop of the ’40s and ’50s. Given the boogie-woogie of "Damned If You Do," a cover of "Ubangi Stomp," the featherweight ballad "You and Me’"(a Top 10 hit) and the disco-fied "(No More) Love at Your Convenience," it all feels a bit too much like a poorly conceived cabaret show. What’s not poorly conceived is "It’s Hot Tonight,’" featuring grimy riffage from Dick Wagner and Steve Hunter.
19. ‘Pretties for You’ (1969)
The Alice Cooper band’s avant-garde debut is more interesting than it is good. Between the psychedelic jams, wacky time signatures and trippy half-songs, you can understand why Frank Zappa would’ve liked them enough to sign them to a record deal. ‘Pretties for You’ is never boring, but the album’s scattershot nature also prevents it from coalescing into something more. Plus, at this early stage, the group was still hewing close to influences like Zappa’s Mothers of Invention and Syd Barrett-era Pink Floyd. The song with the most memorable melody, "Reflected," would be resuscitated as "Elected" in four more years.
18. ‘Along Came a Spider’ (2008)
This late-era concept record might contain the most coherent narrative of any of Cooper’s story albums. He plays the sinister serial killer Spider, who is collecting legs of his victims to make his own human spider. Cooper sneers his way through the proceedings, and he makes the character consistently creepy, even when singing along to an instantly outdated electronic beat ("Wake the Dead"). Would producer (and frequent Cooper collaborator) Bob Ezrin have let that happen if he’d been helming this record? Probably not, and the sounds would have been more epic, the songs more distinct. As such, it’s a pretty tangled web.
17. ‘Brutal Planet’ (2000)
“Alice Cooper goes industrial” doesn’t sound like the best idea and, well … it wasn’t. Cooper’s not quite the chameleon David Bowie was, plus he was a little late to the industrial rock party. Still, there are decent songs buried in the sludge, including the lumbering title track and "Gimme," sung from Satan’s perspective. More than just songs, Cooper shows a dedication to thoughtful lyrics throughout the album. Instead of horror movie tropes, he focuses on real world events that might be even scarier: school shootings, starvation and domestic violence. It’s a brutal record in more ways than one.
16. ‘Trash’ (1989)
When Cooper decided to team with power ballad maestro Desmond Child (Bon Jovi, Aerosmith), he had his sights set on the charts. It worked. "Poison" is the kind of delectable ear candy that deserved to be a huge hit (Cooper’s first in more than a decade), and ‘Trash’ is full of tunes that are nearly as irresistible. But when Cooper made a deal with Child, he might have lost as much as he gained. Sure, Cooper can leer through skeezy come-ons, but he’s capable of so much more vocally, lyrically and certainly musically. Perhaps the album’s thin sound is the price of shooting for pop metal popularity in 1989, but decades later it just makes ‘Trash’ more disposable.
15. ‘Alice Cooper Goes to Hell’ (1976)
Alice Cooper almost always delivers a killer overture; it must be his love of musical theater. "Go to Hell" is one of his best opening tracks, with a chorus of angry parents damning Alice for “violence on the stage” and “refusing to act your age.” Some fans might have damned him for the unrepentant disco tune, "You Gotta Dance," that follows. If you like Cooper’s solo work, you have to accept some showbiz schmaltz, but the scales can tip out of balance. ‘Lace and Whiskey’ is worse, but ‘Goes to Hell’ is guilty too – even if the saccharine ballad "I Never Cry" is one of Cooper’s most personal songs.
14. ‘Dragontown’ (2001)
On the follow-up to ‘Brutal Planet,’ Cooper continued to paint from the industrial palette. Yet this time out, Cooper and co-songwriter/co-producer Bob Marlette found some varied textures within the all-out heaviness. Instantly, lead-off track "Triggerman" races with an agility undiscovered in the doom and gloom of the previous album. Cooper’s attention remains on “important” subjects, but he doesn’t seem to have the weight of the planet on him. He sounds like he’s having fun. How could he not when the rockabilly/metal goof "Disgraceland" allows him to do an Elvis impersonation?
13. ‘Muscle of Love’ (1973)
Following the theatricality and thematic unity of ‘Billion Dollar Babies’ and ‘School’s Out,’ the band endeavored to return to hard-charging rock ’n’ roll on ‘Muscle of Love.’ Some songs hit that target (the vicious title track, the back-alley strut of opener "Big Apple Dreamin’ (Hippo)’", some miss (the horns cheese up "Never Been Sold Before" and "Crazy Little Child") and others feel out of place on a “back-to-basics” record (the easy-rolling pop of "Teenage Lament ’74" and the histrionics of rejected James Bond theme "The Man With the Golden Gun"). As the final LP from the Alice Cooper band, it’s more of a last gasp than a swan song.
12. ‘The Last Temptation’ (1994)
With his hair metal phase effectively ended by ‘Hey Stoopid,’ Cooper decided to dig in and make a concept record for the first time in a decade. This one finds frequent Cooper protagonist Steven lured into a twisted freak show by a satanic showman – portrayed by Cooper, of course. Taking cues from grunge (along with a couple songs from Chris Cornell), ‘Last Temptation’ hits harder and feels heavier than any album since the Alice Cooper band broke up. The melodies are sharp too, partly due to co-conspirators Cornell, Jack Blades, Tommy Shaw, Mark Hudson and Jim Vallance. The record sometimes bleeds into decadence (child choirs, sound effects galore), but Cooper has never had a problem with being over-the-top.
11. ‘The Eyes of Alice Cooper’ (2003)
Whether inspired by the garage rock revival or merely deciding it was time to return to his roots, Cooper took the quick and dirty route to ‘The Eyes of Alice Cooper.’ To borrow a description from one of the album’s song titles, Alice got stuck "Between High School & Old School." Turned out to be a perfect place, where the songs rarely last more than three-and-a-half minutes, distorted guitars chug punkily along and the prevailing sense of humor is wickedly juvenile ("Man of the Year" is a nice slice of sarcasm). It’s a bash-and-crash kind of record, but it’s an exceedingly well-crafted one with winning tunes and smart songwriting.
10. ‘Welcome 2 My Nightmare’ (2011)
Cooper’s first album of the '10s was conceived as a sequel to his solo debut, but in many ways, it’s a summation of his entire career. Sure, "Steven" is back, but so is producer Bob Ezrin, the three surviving AC band members (on a few tracks), session guitar wizard Dick Wagner and ‘Trash’ collaborator Desmond Child. If there’s something you like about Alice Cooper, you’ll find it here, from show-stopping overtures and breakneck rock ’n’ roll to goofy tunes and gruesome pop. There’s even a sly nod to Cooper’s flirtation with disco (it’s the soundtrack to hell, of course!). ‘Welcome 2 My Nightmare’ is like a retrospective with new material.
9. ‘From the Inside’ (1978)
Cooper’s fourth solo album is also the least heavy record of his career. But that’s not an insult. ‘From the Inside’ sounds like an Elton John disc, which makes sense since Cooper stole three members of Elton’s band (including lyricist Bernie Taupin) for the album. This is an incredibly amusing and affecting collection of pop/rock vignettes inspired by people Cooper met while being treated for alcoholism at a sanitarium. We meet a priest who’s tempted by "Nurse Rozetta," then encounter murderous lovers "Millie and Billie." From the Inside’ is a short story collection with a fascinating dichotomy between glossy tunes and twisted tales.
8. ‘Dirty Diamonds’ (2005)
Cooper still had some tools left in the garage after ‘The Eyes of Alice Cooper,’ and he put them to good use on ‘Dirty Diamonds.’ The album is loaded with gnarly nuggets inspired by British Invasion rock and straight-shooting punk. Guitarists Ryan Roxie and Damon Johnson get to play Keith Richards and Ronnie Wood on the Stonesy rockers "Perfect" and "Sunset Babies," while Cooper proves he still has a killer roar. Plus, he gets to channel the ghost of Johnny Cash on country send-up "The Saga of Jesse Jane" and sound surprisingly tender on a cover of the Left Banke’s "Pretty Ballerina." All these gems make a bonus track cameo by rapper Xzibit easy to overlook.
7. ‘Flush the Fashion’ (1980)
When people hear the phrase “Alice Cooper’s New Wave albums,” it conjures upsetting images of the mascaraed marauder running away with A Flock of Seagulls. But Cooper seemed to draw from good New Wave bands on ‘Flush the Fashion.’ The intermingled guitars and keyboards sound like the Cars, slickly produced rockabilly recalls Nick Lowe and Cooper seems to channel Talking Head David Byrne on the Top 40 hit "Clones (We’re All)." Just because Cooper changed his sound didn’t mean he shed his dark tendencies, whether embodying "Pain" on a thundering ballad or rampaging through radiation on "Nuclear Infected."
6. ‘DaDa’ (1983)
Alice Cooper took us inside his nightmare, but ‘DaDa’ might be his only record that could actually cause one. Much of that is due to the cavernous environments that producer Bob Ezrin helped create. From the ominous opener, in which a distant baby cries “Da-da,” the album sounds like a sonic sequel to ‘The Wall.’ Cooper matches the dark mood with dark humor, whether telling the tale of a woman with a serious Santa fetish on "No Man’s Land" or facetiously embodying ugly Americans on "I Love America." The concept runs out of gas, but the album never does – closing with "Pass the Gun Around," a titanic cry for help. Cooper would get clean, for good this time, after ‘DaDa’ came out.
5. ‘Welcome to My Nightmare’ (1975)
With the band on hiatus, Cooper embraced his dream (nightmare?) of becoming a song-and-dance man. This is a departure from the raucous rock of the Alice Cooper group, but there was enough showbiz in the previous albums to make the transition less jarring. Plus, between the tender ballads ("Only Women Bleed") and Andrew Lloyd Webber-esque drama ("Steven"), there are plenty of great rockers here – fueled by axemen Steve Hunter and Dick Wagner. "Department of Youth" and "Cold Ethyl" have ‘Billion Dollar Babies’ in their DNA, even as Cooper wants to play “Cold” Ethel Merman elsewhere. ‘Nightmare’ strikes such a great balance between power chords and jazz hands that Cooper would never equal it during his solo career.
4. ‘School's Out’ (1972)
Is there a better opening shot than the first few seconds of "School’s Out"? Five albums into the Alice Cooper band’s run, Glen Buxton and Michael Bruce had built a partnership on switchblade licks and sledgehammer riffs. If the title track depicts the group at the pinnacle of its powers (from the elephantine rhythm section of Neal Smith and Dennis Dunaway to Cooper’s unholy howl), the rest of the album can’t compete, although it’s quite good. "Blue Turk" wafts in as a smoky nod to the Doors and "Public Animal #9" is a good and greasy tribute to delinquency.
3. ‘Love It to Death’ (1971)
The third time was the charm for the band, which found a kindred spirit in Bob Ezrin. The producer made the quintet practice for hours a day, and they landed on a signature sound: tight, melodic, raw rock ’n’ roll. Runaway rocker "Long Way to Go" hurdles with an unbridled intensity, while "I’m Eighteen" (the band’s first hit and all-out classic) burns itself into your brain with the tension between Cooper’s screams and that unforgettable arpeggiated riff. Although this LP would inspire the Ramones and Sex Pistols, it’s not all punk, all the time. "Is It My Body" slithers on a slinky groove and "The Ballad of Dwight Fry" is a dynamic epic that would become a concert set piece.
2. ‘Killer’ (1971)
No title could be more appropriate. ‘Killer’ features a murderer’s row of angsty tracks, from diesel-powered opener "Under My Wheels" to prickly outlaw confession "Desperado." Between bursts of garage rock, the Alice Cooper band runs the rambunctious marathon that is "Halo of Flies," which brings together two of the group’s obsessions: James Bond movies (“I’ve got a watch that turns into a lifeboat”) and musical theater (part of the song rips off "My Favorite Things"). More than the songs, it’s the sound of ‘Killer’ that fits the title – Alice shrieking about "Dead Babies" from the back of his throat, Dennis Dunaway’s prodding basslines or the rusty weaponry wielded by the guitar duo of Glen Buxton and Michael Bruce. Future punks were taking notes.
1. ‘Billion Dollar Babies’ (1973)
Here’s where it all came together: songs, sound and showmanship. The result was an epic album on which everything feels big. ‘Billion Dollar Babies’ is a carnival of melodies, riffs and clever lyrics, with unhinged Cooper in the center of the swirl – pointing his finger at (or maybe shoving it down the throat of) the greedy, powerful and predatory. The album pairs its unifying theme with sonic diversity, spanning the creepy crawly dirge "Sick Things," the oom-pah-punk of "Elected" and the menacing drive of the title track. Then there’s "No More Mr. Nice Guy," the perfect dose of power-pop administered to anyone who never understood the band. ‘Billion Dollar Babies’ is the quintessential Alice Cooper album, regardless of if we’re taking about the man or the band.