From Bradbury To Snag, We Rank Aussie Slang By How Bloody Confusing It Is

PEDESTRIAN.TV has teamed up with Ewe Beaut for their new beer, a bloody bonza mid-strength bev.

As a born and raised Dingley boy, I like to think my upbringing gives me at least some authority when translating Aussie slang.

Scratch that – I reckon it gives me the ultimate authority. I bet half of you haven’t even heard of Dingley, while the other half only know it as that Melbourne suburb that’s surrounded by garbage tips.

And while the garbage tip rumour that I just helped spread may, in fact, be true, it was also a wholesome little suburb that still had a Tuckerbag supermarket until I was in primary school.

Given my accreditations, I’m appointing myself as the designated Aussie slang translator. No, no, scratch that again – Assistant to the Aussie slang translator. I’ve gotta keep myself humble.

So, from making the least sense to pretty self-explanatory, here is my official ranking of Aussie slang.

8. Spenno

Alright, this one’s on us. Yes, we tried to make ‘spenno’ – a butchered version of ‘expensive’ – a thing, and it just didn’t quite land.

Drag us through the mud, chase us down with pitchforks, pee in our shampoo.

Our sincerest sozzas.

7. Do a Bradbury

Alright, truth be told, I had no bloody clue what this was at first glance, so I’ve chucked it towards the end out of fairness for the process.

After a bit of research, it appears Bradbury is referring to Steven Bradbury, the Aussie Olympian who skated his way to glory after almost every single one of his competitors ate shit, tripped over each other and left the finish line to Bradbury.

So, by ‘doing a Bradbury’, you’re essentially beating the odds.

Example:
“How did that guy eat 30 sausage rolls from the servo without having a heart attack?”
“Darno, he defo pulled a Bradbury with that one, ey?”

6. Cark it

Again, this doesn’t make a whole world of sense unless you’ve heard it in context.

You’ve undoubtedly stumbled across a downtrodden driver on the side of the road, looking at their feet sheepishly, mentioning that their car ‘carked it’ but not mentioning that their car ‘carked it’ because they accidentally ran it up a pole.

In layman’s terms, it means that something, or someone, has died – but not at the fault of someone else (even though it most likely is the fault of someone else).

So, if your mate who borrowed your rice cooker tells you that it ‘carked it’ on its own, you best believe they tried to brew some weird goon punch concoction in it and blew it to smithereens.

5. Duz

Duz refers to a durry, or ciggie, or cigarette if you wanna be all la di da about it.

‘Duz’ by itself makes very little sense to those who aren’t well-acquainted with our renowned ability to abbreviate abbreviations, so don’t be too hard on yourself if you’ve said yes to someone’s offer of a duz, only to be handed what is very clearly a cigarette.

4. Smoko

Smoko is used as a general term to describe a quick break, usually in construction, for tradies and the like to down a quick iced coffee, pound a quick energy drink or inhale a quick Four’n’Twenty.

It’s also bound by Australian law• that a 10-minute smoko must be accompanied by a minimum of two smokers per five square metres.

*That Australian law has proven to be false.

3. You beaut

This might seem to be self-explanatory, as most people can decipher ‘beauty’ as a compliment in almost all cases.

However, saying ‘you beaut’ or ‘you beauty’ very rarely means you’re complimenting someone’s appearance. It’s most commonly used when you’re stoked with a situation.

Reasons you might say ‘you beaut’: someone chucks you a bev; your footy team wins; the pies are ready; your house didn’t burn down despite leaving the oven on after cooking pies; the retail worker found the item you were looking for out the back.

Now that there’s a beer literally called ‘Ewe Beaut‘ though, this could prove to ge humourously confusing at your standard barbie.

“Hey pal, chuck us a Ewe Beaut would ya?”
“Yeah no wuz what bev do you want?”
“Ewe Beaut.”
“I haven’t chucked you anything yet.”
“What?”
“What?”
“JUST CHUCK ME A EWE BEAUT.”

I reckon I’ll take a slab to the next get-together purely for the bants, actually.

2. Snag

Honestly, this probably falls under the same confusing category as ‘duz’, but I feel like ‘snag’ has infiltrated other countries now, so I wouldn’t necessarily say our slang for ‘sausage’ is that confusing to most.

But yes, if you do need a reminder, ‘snag’ is used to refer to our beloved sausage. In white bread. With tomato sauce. Potentially onions, if you’re gonna get all food-snobby about it.

1. Yeah, Nah / Nah, Yeah

This is pretty fucking easy to understand – just ignore whatever they say first, and that’s your response.

“Yeah, nah” = Nah.
“Nah, yeah” = yeah.

Did this entire article teach you anything or yeah nah?

Image: The Simpsons