Boris Johnson said 'move on' six times. He only needs to say it to Dominic Cummings once

There's a rumour Boris Johnson only agreed to a grilling from MPs today because someone told him Yvette Cooper was having a Zoom pub quiz.

He put on a nice shirt, tousled his hair and sat down hoping to be asked what the capital of Tanzania is.

Instead he flipped open his laptop to see Simon Hoare, who he thought was a mate, very politely tearing him a new one over Dominic Cummings.

Once he worked out where he was, he treated the whole thing like a great inconvenience.

Having helpfully overstuffed the agenda in advance, Boris' old pal Sir Bernard Jenkin was left in the irritating role of clockwatcher.

Johnson's hand-picked chairman, installed by Number 10 last week, repeatedly urged the Prime Minister to talk faster.  Or perhaps just to say less.

At one point he revealed he had been “forbidden from announcing any new targets”.

The most powerful man in the nation requiring the threat of bed without supper to not make things up off the top of his head perhaps reveals his lack of self control.

Speaking of which, another MP who was supposed to be on his side - ex Minister Caroline Nokes - stopped the PM entirely in his tracks with the one question he hoped he’d never have to answer: “How many women is enough?”

She was, of course referring to the number of women he promoted to senior positions.

But most of those tuning in will have been hoping for some explanation as to why Johnson had chosen to be a human shield for the world’s least defensible man. And they will have tuned out disappointed.

Some of the allegations are false, he insisted - but refused to say which.

He said he was sorry for the anger felt by the 71% of the country who disagree with him about his apparently indispensable aide, but not for the unfairness that caused it.

The Prime Minister is very sorry if you’re angry that his mate got a free run of the A1 while you had to struggle to keep your family safe and healthy - but you’re wrong. It’s all a distraction.

“It’s time to move on”, he said six times.

All he has to do is say it to Dominic Cummings once.