Family members grieving in silence during pandemic

CHARLOTTE, NC (WBTV) - Losing a relative can be challenging but losing a relative during a pandemic means the family is faced with adjustments. Shauna Gill Morris says all she heard when her father died was silence.

Her father, Ron Gill, passed away in April after suffering a massive stroke after celebrating his 85th birthday. She is used to her family tradition of holding a funeral called a homegoing celebration and being surrounded by family and friends.

“There’s no choir,” Gill-Morris said. “No noise - there’s no sitting on the couch - laughing, looking at pictures, hugging. This silence during the pandemic during death is so chilling - it’s just depression sitting in.”

The traditions and culture that take place in death is important for the Gill family.

“The difference is being able to push forward,” Gill-Morris said. “You have something to hold on to.”

Ron Gill’s wish was to have a jazz memorial celebration in Boston. He was a known jazz artist. His wish cannot be fulfilled right now because of restrictions during the pandemic.

“There’s no closure because I can’t call anywhere in Boston and say hey I’d like to use your venue,” the daughter said. “There’s no musicians who are going to all come together.”

The last time Gill-Morris says her father spoke to her was right before his stroke in March. The stroke left him non-verbal.

She is holding on to the last words she heard from her father. They were to remain an entrepreneur and to keep making a difference. She now has advice for other families who are dealing with silence during this pandemic.

“Find something to do to pour back into yourself,” she said. “Because it’s not going to stay this way forever - it really isn’t.”

Gill-Morris lost her mother about six months ago. She says the the difference between her mother’s death and her father’s death is totally different.

During her mother’s death she experienced the comfort from others to help her get through the grief process. During her father’s death, she had to embrace social distancing and silence. She says through the silence she has learned a lesson.

“It’s taught me to love hard,” she said. “And love for real. And it has truly taught me that tomorrow is not promised...Love the people who are around you. The little arguments and such - throw them to the side. It is not worth it.”

More than a month after her father’s death - Gill-Morris is still waiting to plan her father’s memorial service.