We Hit Up That Bougie New Sydney Coles & It’s As Wonderfully OTT As We Expected

When Coles announced that they were launching some new, fancy “local” stores, I didn’t pay much attention. I figured they’d be somewhere I would never be, like a fancy Melbourne suburb or Noosa.

Not in Rose Bay, at my local.

To recap, this is the one that announced they were including a DOGGY TREAT STATION where you could pick and choose pet snacks.

Obviously I had to hightail it up there immediately. From the get-go, things were hectic.

At first I was like, okay Coles has lost it’s damn mind but then I remembered the building this Coles is housed in used to be a movie theatre in the olden days. Cute, they’re playing on the theme! I like it!

They were handing out free popcorn (!!) which is obviously a huge vibe for me, the boombalada who ate every 30 minutes all weekend.

So the first thing I came across was a wall of bougie beverages. About 40 types of kombucha and other sodas involving obscure Australian native ingredients or health benefits like “immune boosting”.

Cue me picking up about four different, yet markedly similar, types of lemonade.

If you’re more into destroying your nervous system with copious amounts of coffee, might I suggest heading a little further south to the coffee section?

Mochi, something I don’t hate but also don’t care for particularly, and macarons make a feature. There’s this pick and mix station featuring both, plus tiny gelatos.

Now here’s something I heavily fuck with – DIY orange juice! Who cares if it tastes exactly the same as bottled orange juice! I MADE THIS ONE.

Here’s something else I heavily fuck with – CARBS.

That right there is a shitload of bagel options. I bought a blueberry one. We also have overpriced-yet-delicious gourmet snacks for your next cheeseboard:

The big cheesies are plastic but the variety of fancy cheeses are NOT:

My fave local Pasta Pantry also have a bunch of ready made meals I’ve never seen before. I got the chargrill chicken / rice / broccoli option, which I prob could have made at home but even in WFH I don’t have the time, don’t we love to see i?

IDK if you’re a fan of like, smoked fish. I personally am not but we got plenty out here!

Also around? Pre-packaged TUNA STEAKS. IDK why this thrilled me. I’ve never eaten tuna steak outside of a restaurant but now I could?? You know??

A big win for me is this bread slicing machine, which you can use yourself and means any loaf that isn’t sliced, can be – and you get three diff width options. They also have a massive Sonoma range, which is a vibe for me and my Sonoma obsession.

If you’re vegan there’s a MAD range. Like several fridges worth of meatless goodies. Not the shit stuff, all the brands you actually want. The best thing about this Coles Local business is they’re genuinely getting GOOD independent brands in.

Like check out the Mexican section, this is stuff I’d have to go to a deli for:

But the real hook is the DOGGY TREAT STATION:

Fun talk: It’s treat on treat on treat, including stuff like goat horns, dried chicken wings and lamb legs. If you have a dog who will not stop chewing, you know what I’m talking about. THE GOOD SHIT.

Real talk: it’s also, I think, going to be more cost effective than buying all that “hand rolled in the NZ hills, fed only grains that have falled from the tree of wealth” shit in pet stores that costs me an arm and a leg each time. I also have a dog who wisens up to treats like a mofo, so this lets me keep variety going at all times. It’s $5.50 / 100g no matter what you get.

Also these orangey hemp cookies are dog drugs, I swear.

I’ll leave you with the wall of Pellegrino: