Ed Ducks For Cover

I don’t think a politician will utter the phrase ‘we’re following the science’ ever again, Ed confides to his diary, the scientists’ view is there’s no safety for everyone until the virus has died out and then there’ll be a second wave.

However, a lockdown until Christmas would not be respected and there’s nothing pols hate more than not being respected. 

Nowadays the pols are past strategic planning and into preparing for the Mother of all Blame Games and Yours Truly, as Minister for Science, is bang in the firing line.

My strategy is to stitch up the government-employed scientists – they can’t retaliate, they have no meaningful union protection and they have zero public  affection – perfect cannon fodder –  whereas the university scientists are a gabby lot with the ear of the media and you  don’t want to get in a pissing match with them.

I call in the Permanent Secretary.”There’s a public enquiry coming up,” I tell him, “ we need an audit trail of all advice, memos, recommendations and minutes emanating from the Department relating to the virus.”

“Very well, Secretary of State,” says a glum PS, clearly sniffing a major rat.

“And I want a source attributed to each document – if it can be a name of someone outside the Department all well and good. If not, then a name from within the Department will suffice.”

“With the greatest of respect, Secretary of State, this has all the signs of a witch-hunt.”

“Purely defensive measures in the event of a witch-hunt,” I murmur.

Exit one PS looking miffed.

It’s each man for himself when the merde starts to fly.