If The NBA Can Thrive Under A “Bubble,” Why Not The Presidential Election?

Assuming it returns to action later this summer, the National Basketball Association might relocate its players, their care and housing and the league’s games to one location – a “bubble site” that better safeguards its stars against exposure to the COVID-19 pandemic. 

According to published reports, the NBA has kicked around the “bubble” idea with The Walt Disney Company, which owns the ESPN Wide World of Sport Complex in Orlando, Florida, a private property with hotels, restaurants and a sports complex replete with basketball courts that are broadcast-ready (Las Vegas – home to the NBA’s annual Summer League – is another possibility, with MGM Resorts International reportedly offering to set up a quarantined block along the city’s fabled Strip).

Such scenarios have lots of moving parts: for example, the idea of an NBA broadcast sans crowd noise (no fans would be allowed inside the bubble) to drown out the players’, shall we say, salty on-court language – which means perhaps showing the game with a slight delay so as to block out the trash talk and profanities.

Personally, I’m not sure how this is going to fly with the public. Basketball without an avid crowd — even played at that high of a level — is sort of like hanging around the YMCA to see who has “next.” Although, if it goes through as discussed – on a neutral site and under lots of unusual circumstances – it will be the stuff of bar debates for seasons to come as fans argue whether the winner of a league title deserves an asterisk next to its name.

Despite those reservations, I wish that we’d apply the “bubble” concept to a different contact sport – this year’s presidential race.

Specifically:

The Veepstakes. It’s hard to remember a presidential election year in which the potential running mates have been so vocal about their availability.

This begins with Stacey Abrams who, despite her glaring inexperience in national politics and foreign affairs, shamelessly promotes herself for the number-two spot on the Democratic ticket  (“the Democrats’ Sarah Palin” seems an apt analogy, although Palin actually was the governor of a state at the time she ran with John McCain . . . nor was the choice of Palin tainted by racial overtones).

My solution: Joe Biden should place the ten-or-so women associated with his vice presidential search under a bubble in Las Vegas or Orlando – or some other city in some swing state where they could engage in what, in effect, would be a really awful version of television’s Survivor.

Biden could test their fitness (a must if running with a presidential nominee who’ll turn 78 not long after the election). And quiz them on domestic and foreign policy. As television networks are starved for content these days, why not have America vote for its favorite running mate (ok, now we’re venturing into a political version of American Idol or Dancing With the Stars)?

Yes, it would be a spectacle. But so too is the slow grind of ticket-seeking Democrats floating their names in the hope that Biden will soon call.

The States In Play.  Earlier today, I received an email from Biden’s campaign – masochist that I am, I always subscribe if a candidate offers – with a map of the 50 states (I’d forward a link, but it will only take you to a solicitation for money).

Team Biden added three hues to this particular map: deep blue (“Protect – states that Democrats won in 2016 and remain critical to our winning coalition”); a light blue (“Win Back – a subset of swing states that Democrats won in 2008 or 2012 and lost in 2016”); and a light gray (“Expand – battleground newcomers which are now in play based on 2018 trends”).

What the campaign should have sent instead: a map with a bubble stretching from Wisconsin, through Michigan, to Pennsylvania (yes, it’d be an odd-looking bubble, as the states aren’t contiguous).

Why those three states? Because Trump won them all by a grand sum of less than 80,000 votes. Flip all three, along with their 46 electoral votes and, assuming no other state changes hands, Biden goes from Hillary Clinton’s 232 electoral votes in 2016 to 278 electoral votes in 2020 and the presidency.

Dreaming about flipping Arizona, Georgia and Texas – the three states in that grayish “expand” category – makes Democratic pulses race. But the practical goal for Democrats is to reach to 270 electoral votes, not surge into the 300’s. The Biden campaign’s bullish view of the map? It too should be restricted.

The Candidates. Both Biden and President Trump made public appearances on Memorial Day, the first time that’s happened since the pandemic struck (Trump’s done limited travel beyond the White House; Biden’s been hunkered down in his Delaware home).

Once the parties stage their national conventions (or what passes for a convention in 2020, given social restrictions and presidential temperament), let’s assume the two candidates will start crisscrossing the country.

My question: does it really matter where Biden and Trump travel in the last two months of the election?

Sure, you can argue that a candidate’s appearance can lead to a spike in local turnout. But in an election involving Donald Trump, how likely are voters to change their minds?

The solution: put a bubble over the White House with both Biden and Trump inside it (one wants to work there; the other has to be there).

In the unlikelihood that the two gentlemen shared the same quarters – with 132 rooms, 35 bathrooms and six levels in the residence, there’s plenty of room to maintain social distancing, much less physical contact – maybe the two will learn to get along. 

Trump and Biden getting along?

Maybe all of this “bubble” talk has left me bubble-brained.