A Beginner's Guide To Shibari (AKA Rope Sex)

The origin of Shibari is thought to lie in Hojo-jutsu, a martial art used by Samurai in Japan in 1400 to restrain prisoners. To show their prisoners respect, they used rope, different tying techniques and patterns to symbolise the social status of their prisoner, as well as the type and severity of the crime.

Hojo-jutsu took on a new, erotic form in the late 19th Century and became Kinbaku (Kinbaku-bi translates as ‘the beauty of tight binding’) – in today’s western world, it’s called Shibari.

Shibari techniques tread the line between pain and pleasure, with knots and ties positioned to heighten sensuality and stimulate pressure points, erogenous zones and genitals.

Contrasts are central to Shibari: intricate geometric patterns with the natural curves of the body, rough rope against soft skin and vulnerability side by side with strength. The practice can also lead to a trance-like experience for the tied partner and a rush of adrenalin for the artist, or rigger.

Shibari takes dedication and patience to master, but you will develop a skill that can lead to a deeper sense of trust and a greater bond between you and your partner.

Want to learn?

First, invest in some good quality rope, like Fifty Shades Freed Want to Play? Silky Rope. Long and soft with a triple-twisted finish, it’s perfect for practising the art of restraint.

There are so many tying techniques that it would take us all day to cover them here, but to avoid getting in a tangle we recommend looking online to see if there are any Shibari classes in your area. Plus, the book Two Knotty Boys: Showing You the Ropes has some great tips for getting started.

Safety first

Accidents can happen when you’re using any kind of restraint, so it’s hugely important that safety is your top priority when practising Shibari. Serious injury, and even death, can come from inexperience, so it’s vital that you find an experienced practitioner to show you the ropes.

Coco Cameron is a blogger and sex toy expert who writes for Lovehoney Australia. You can see a list of their best-selling products here.