People tell us the worst things others have said to them in the bedby Almara Abgarian
If you’re crawling into bed with someone tonight, don’t be surprised if they whisper something dirty in your ear.
Apparently, majority of Brits love a bit of dirty talk, with 7 out of 10 people having said something naughty to their partner in the bedroom over the last year.
The results from a new survey, conducted by Superdrug reflects previous findings that we reported on in 2018, which revealed that 76% of men and 74% of women said dirty talk was on the top of their list of things to do during sex.
Some of the most popular words included classics like ‘harder’, ‘baby’ and ‘daddy’.
But not everyone likes chit-chat in the sheets.
If you don’t know the person you’re sleeping with very well, it could be a tad awkward if they shout out something like ‘I love you’, ask you to crack out the whip and punish them or start talking in a baby voice.
Best to save that for the second date.
However, what serves as other people’s embarrassment can often make for very funny memories – and stories.
Naturally, as it’s Valentine’s Day, we asked people to share some of the worst things others have said to them in bed. Here’s what they said.
‘I can’t think of anything worse than when a guy goes down on you, looks up at me and then says: ‘Do you like that?’. The first time it happened I just tried to shut him up and moved on to sex. The second time it happened (with a different guy) I had to make him stop because it made me cringe too much.
‘”I want you to worship me and call me princess”. Nope, nope, nope, NO absolutely NOT. I just went uh, no sorry I’m not doing that and she just accepted it, but then minutes later she unexpectedly put her foot in my mouth. Then she had the brass balls to ask me a couple of days later if I wanted to hang out again.’
‘A guy I was seeing once yelled “game over” as he came before collapsing on me. Like it was a game of Tekken he’d just lost. He tried to start up again later by asking “Round 2? Fight.”’
‘All of that “good girl” stuff. Makes my skin crawl.’
‘I was 17 and she’d never had sex, which I was unaware of. She seemed super keen but went quiet as I slid inside her, and then said: “I don’t know what I’m doing”. I was put off, but it didn’t take long for her to grab my back and push me in deeper.’
This one guy wanted me to call him daddy. That was a big ol’ fat NO – would rather not be reminded of my dad while I’m banging, thank you.
Him: ‘call me Daddy’
Me: ‘right, really?’
Him: ‘yes, call me daddy now’
Him: ‘not in an American accent, in your accent’
Me: (still in an American accent) ‘Daddy’
Him: ‘that’s still American’
Me: (with the same level of concentration I used for my economics A level – then actually sounding like Bridget Jones) ‘Daddy’
Him: finishes immediately
‘One girl whispered in my ear “make my p**** purr”. F***ing cringe. Also had a one night stand once (don’t normally) where the girl looked into my eyes and said she genuinely was in love with me, then started crying.’
‘It wasn’t during sex but we were making out, and he goes “did we meet on Hinge or Bumble? I don’t remember”.’
‘So as I was about to come, she said “I think I’m having a nose bleed”. Needless to say, it killed the mood.’
‘Somebody once asked me if they could tie me up, go and get some ice cream from the freezer, spoon it inside me and lick it out. I didn’t do it. Gross. One guy also always used to tell me how much I reminded him of his sister. Then one night in bed he asked me if I would ever have a threesome with siblings.’
‘No one has ever really said anything awful to me, but I did once say “was that it?” to a guy after he finished within a few minutes.’
‘I was on a first date with a guy from Tinder and one thing led to another and we went back to his. Anyway, mid-sex, he looks me in the eye and says “So what is it you’re looking for? Can you promise me you will see me again?”. I mean in that moment I was just looking for an orgasm to be honest, but that quickly killed the mood.
I made my excuses, left, and ghosted him for a few weeks. In the end I had to send him a text saying he was a little too intense for me (after he had sent me about 15 messages asking where I had gone).’
Oh, and if someone does utter something incredibly cringe to you in bed tonight, here’s our guide on how to deal with the situation.