Percy Pig Advent Calendars Are Filled With Chocolate and We Might as Well Just Give Up on Life

The legendary Percy Pig has a spiffy looking advent calendar that might as well be filled with nothing.

I can't imagine a worse affront that walking into your local M&S, spotting Percy's rosy face grinning at you from the front of his very own advent calendar of all things (no, YOU shut up!), grabbing a stack for the fam - because who doesn't want to gobble up his gummies - and opening door number one to find a piece of chocolate behind it.

What. The. Actual. Fuck. A Percy Pig advent calendar, with no Percy fucking Pigs in it? Has anything worse happened anywhere on this planet at any point in human history? No.

There's nothing left to do now but to rip all the doors off, scattering those putrid chocolates everywhere, and stuff handfuls of the numbered cardboard pieces down your throat to end your gummy-less misery. But what's this? Something else printed on the front, in large font, right next to Percy's rotund little body.

"24 festive milk chocolate shapes and a bag of Percy Pigs for Christmas day."

Even as you begin to slip away, the meaning of these words elude you. Because you're an absolute cretin.

Apparently this drama has been playing out (probably) in a number of homes across the country, and some poor social media manager over and Marks and Sparks is running our of palms and faces to smash together in the face of complaints from people whose Christmas is ruined because they can't figure out a workaround for their own idiocy - by, say, buying a bag of Percy Pigs - and won't cop up to the fact that they bought something with the contents clearly marked, failed to pay any attention to that whatsoever, and made it someone else's fault.

Metro has curated a fine selection of angry comments from customers who are still oblivious, even now. Just open door number 25, or go and buy another bag. Heck, go and buy a bag for every day of the month and save Christmas like some porcine gummy saint. Enjoy.