My working week: 'A pupil is worried her mum will turn up at school drunk'

I work in a school with the most vulnerable children. It can be rewarding and impossibly frustrating

Monday

I work in schools, supporting children who are struggling including looked-after children, who are not being cared for by their birth parents. Some are with other family members. Others are with foster carers, and some may be in children’s homes.

They make up 1% of the population and are the most vulnerable children in education. They achieve much lower grades and are 10 times more likely to go to prison than university. My role is to try and help them. It can be rewarding or impossibly frustrating.

My week begins with a mentoring session with nine-year-old Bobbie, who is upset because her mother got drunk again last night. She is worried about what will happen if she turns up drunk to collect her at the end of the day. I’ve been working with Bobbie for a while; she used to get in fights with other students, but now comes to talk to me or a teaching assistant when she feels stressed. Her mother is in debt because of her ex-partner’s gambling problems. Some days there is no electricity at home, but there’s always money for alcohol even though Bobbie pleads with her mother not to drink. I’ve explained the situation to her teachers who used to get angry with her and they are now more compassionate.

Tuesday

Tom is in year 10. Today he is angry with his father, who has just been released from prison. He is scared because he is ignoring the conditions of his release. I contact social care and the police, so there is now a warrant out for his arrest to be recalled to prison. He’s so relieved that he cries.

Wednesday

I introduce a free and confidential online counselling service to our pupils. I have a team of ambassadors from sixth form who will train staff and students in how to use the site. Today I feel I have made a difference.

Thursday

I’m in the staff room at lunch when a teacher hands me a piece of work by a student I’ve been mentoring. I first met him when he had broken down in tears after being sent to see the deputy head for misbehaving in class. Through his sobs, he explained he couldn’t bear his life anymore; the previous evening he had tried to kill himself. As we worked together, he began to feel better about his life.

As part of his school work, he was asked to write about a figure from history who was a hero. I read his words: they are about me and the day I “kept him alive”. I am often scared that one day I will not be able to do enough – mental health provision in schools is terrible – but today is not that day.

Friday

I train school staff today about the impact of adverse childhood experiences (Aces). I am yet to meet any school staff who have heard of Aces but they are the ones who have to deal with their consequences on a daily basis.

I hate seeing children and adults fail due to neither of them understanding that a child sometimes cannot do what they are being told to, because their brain is stuck in survival mode.

As a result of today’s training there are more trauma-informed staff who work with my students. That will enable them to be more empathetic, and we will start to see trusting relationships built with children who have learned not to trust the world.

I love my job, but I shouldn’t have to do it. Society should ensure I am not needed.

Names and some identifying details have been changed

• In the UK, Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org. In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is 13 11 14. Other international suicide helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org.

If you would like to contribute to our My working week series about your job in public services, get in touch by emailing sarah.johnson@theguardian.com