ONGAJI: Curbing gender based violence starts with us

In Summary

• Kenya on the other hand has little to celebrate about when it comes to curbing violence against women and girls
• The shocking thing is that most of the time people see and delay to act or end up saying nothing to stop the perpetrators
• Most of the time, victims fear of being shamed or their claims being questioned on grounds of their choices, dressing and morality

As the world continues to mark the annual 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence, Kenya on the other hand has little to celebrate about when it comes to curbing violence against women and girls.

This is as the number of gender based violence victims continues to rise. Last week the Nation published photos of victims of reported cases of gender based violence, and as usual, women and girls dominated.

SHOCK

While these statistics seemed to shock many, the fact of the matter is that these incidences continue to happen every day, before our eyes. One would ask why are these cases rising even in enlightened societies like Kenya? 

The shocking thing is that most of the time people see and delay to act or end up saying nothing to stop the perpetrators.

There are quite a number of examples to justify this statement. A few weeks ago, the internet was buzzing after a video clip emerged online showing this lady cashier who was attacked mercilessly by her colleague in a supermarket.

It started as a soft tap on the face, before turning into pulls and pushes, and eventually heavy slaps before anyone intervened. The lady had to endure a serious beating, before help came her way.

What about the other video that exposed a man who attacked a female security guard, beating her up and pushing the poor woman as no one tried to stop him?

This reminds me of an incident I came face to face with some few days ago. I was waiting for a bus to town near Survey bus stop, along Thika Road. While at it, this tout comes and grabs me by my rear end, pretending to ask me where I was heading.

As I protested assertively, in disgust, telling him not to touch me, he rudely responded in Swahili, “kwani unaogopa kushikwa, ukishikwa utaporomoka? Songesha mavi.” This translates to "is it that if you’re touched you will disintegrate? Move your faeces," which was supposed to be offensive and shame me.

This happened in broad daylight, and it seemed funny for most at the bus stop who burst into loud laughs. I walked away to avoid any more trouble.

MORALITY

And while the world remains in silence, shame, provocation and fear continue to be used as a silence tactic by perpetrators. We’ve heard cases of suspected perpetrators of rape dismissing victims by body shaming them, or attacking their morality.

I remember doing a story about the rise of cases of rape and defilement in Kilifi County. One of the reason different experts said that were contributing to the rise in the number of these incidences was that victims fail to report, or along the way the zeal to follow up just slowly fades away.

Most of the time, they fear of being shamed or their claims being questioned on grounds of their choices, dressing and morality.

In essence, if the war against gender based violence is to be won, then we should stop this habit of burying our heads under the sand anytime a person is attacked under the pretence of minding our business.

We should also seize from this practice of shaming the victims when they get attacked.