My life in sex: ‘I’ve met someone who isn’t threatened by other partners in my life’

The happy divorcee

I was a reasonably happy wife for almost seven years, and an unhappy one for the following 10. After having children, my husband and I never seemed to get “it” back. I will always remember the night I walked down the stairs, dressed in lingerie. He took one look at me and said, “Don’t even think about it.”

That marked the death of our sex life. Six years later, his infidelities marked the end of our marriage.

After an initial period of mourning, I hit the dating sites. One good, if volatile, rebound relationship later, I began to go on dates three or four nights a week. These experiences usually ended in sex, which was a lot of fun. I went to a sex club with one date, hooked up with a few others in parking lots and have been seeing a married man sporadically for more than a year.

Then, six months ago, I met someone of a similar mind and in a similar emotional space, and we decided that we should be a part of each other’s futures.

The catch – or blessing, depending on how you look at it – is that he travels for work constantly. As such, he has encouraged me to continue my experiences with others, as it is a huge turn on for him to hear about, and witness, them.

After being ignored and neglected for years, I have met someone who embraces and encourages my sexuality, and feeds my emotional needs. Someone who isn’t threatened by other partners in my life. Someone who sees a grand future for us.

I think I’m finally having my cake – and this time I can eat it, too.

• Each week, a reader tells us about their sex life. Want to share yours? Email sex@theguardian.com

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